So why is the human avoiding, reclusive, nature photographer suddenly switching to portrait work?
It’s a big question and it’s a big, but very exciting answer. The short answer, I had the inspiration for a photo book/exhibition that sprouted out of a seed planted probably close to 15 if not more years ago. The long answer… The seed was having a discussion with a friend who said he had recently seen this muscular guy in a yellow sundress and he was smitten! He said he loved when a masculine man dressed fem. As a girl who grew up in a conservative state surrounded by conservative folks, I was already getting diversity points for just having gay friends, but this concept completely blew my mind! I didn't even know something like this happened and then someone was attracted to someone else going completely against what I’ve always been shown and fully accepted as normal and acceptable?! My friend’s enthusiasm was so fun and light and beautiful when we discussed it and while I still couldn’t wrap my narrow little mind around it at the time, it sat with me for years. Eventually as life continued my circle expanded and so did my mind and heart, and after a few more years I suddenly had the drive to share this counter expectation message.
Now “drive” may not be the right term as I had the idea, got excited about it, shared it with a couple people, and then promptly ran away from the idea because it’s wildly outside of my comfort zone. As I mentioned before, and if you know my work at all, I will wait (the only time I’m remotely patient) for ages for people to clear my scene, I will go out before dawn to avoid people, and I head to some of the most remote places I can manage to, you guessed it, get away from people. I don’t do portraits except on rare occasions, yet here I am. But it’s not just my imposter syndrome kicking in here with my lack of portrait experience. It’s going all the way back to my roots. If I’m honest I think there is a very real possibility this project will break some if not a lot of those roots. Challenging ideas like this is likely to ruffle feathers, it may cost me some of my relationships. That’s a big thing to face. I'm a born people pleaser, which will come as a surprise possibly to those who have known me in Ireland as I've reigned that in quite a bit and become a lover of healthy boundaries. But before that, I would twist myself into any shape necessary to keep everyone around me happy and getting along, I thought that was my job. I’ve now spent many years working on myself, and putting out love as much as I possibly can in every situation, however I fear announcing this project will wipe all that out and this will be all they see.
In the smallest of ways, it helps me to empathise further with the brave, beautiful, and diverse LGBTQ+ community as I imagine they have similar fears but on a far greater scale. So if they can put themselves out there, be so vulnerable as to let the world see them in their truest and realest fashion, then how can I do less?
So with that in mind, I am officially announcing my new passion project that my prayer, hope, and intention is will bring more light and love into this world. I will be on a mission to capture specifically those within the LGBTQ+ community, but also anyone else who presents counter to expected gender norms. Think men wearing dresses/makeup, [JVN please do a shoot with me!!] women who prefer a more masculine appearance, trans and non binary folks who have found their comfort and peace despite the attitudes they likely encounter on the daily. I want to celebrate and share the stories I find along this journey by interviewing my participants to learn more about them and share their light through their story and their images.
The overarching and primary focus is to celebrate diversity and hopefully add fuel to each participant’s internal fire when they put concerted time into rejoicing in who they are and what they bring to this world! I want the young people growing up to know they aren’t alone, they are every bit as deserving of love and acceptance as anyone is. Or even just to show how many different definitions of normal exist in our world. As the formerly conservative girl from Idaho that was delayed in finding this magical world, I also hope this serves to bridge a gap, to provide exposure and understanding for folks who otherwise don’t have it. It’s a great chance for me to learn more, and play with the definitions of beauty. I am not a member of this community but I am a fervent ally and I think it’s time I take that further and meld it into my photography world and share it in a bolder fashion. Ultimately I’m hoping to turn this into a proper gallery show with all the love and celebration energy flowing back out into the world, but the first step I want is a book, the type they love banning in Florida, to showcase the stories and photos.
I want to avoid overly posed and controlled shoots, I want to see the spirit of the person shining through, I want things to be more natural and free flowing, a day in the life almost. Sure this is self serving too because as I said, imposter syndrome is kicking in real hard even talking about this project, but outside of our comfort zone is where growth occurs! My plan is to ask the same questions of all participants to keep things cohesive, but that being said, I want each unique soul to have their say, and I’m terrible at following rules, even if they are my own. If you are interested in being a part of this experience, or know someone who might, please send them my way, I’d love to speak with them!
My upcoming locations include:
Sydney: March 14-16
N. Idaho/E. Washington: April/May
Ireland: June >
If you’d like to join me on this journey my plan is to highlight the stories here and on social as I’m able to shoot them until I have a proper collection to bring together, any and all support welcome! Here we go!
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